Surveys taken consistently indicate that any child who performs well at school - academically or otherwise – even in manners and behaviour - is mainly because the education-triangle is complete. Today we wish to point out some areas in which you, dear parent, can play an important part in helping your child: Take careful note of the 7 points that follow:
1. Spend time with your child/children daily. Quality time. Quality time means that time of day or night when neither you nor they are tired or occupied with other things. Try to fix a time daily so that you can set a regular pattern. Sit down as a family. Talk. Discuss. Ask them about school. How did the day go. What did they learn. What was exciting, etc. Children are good talkers. They get excited. They need to express themselves; their feelings and emotions; their thoughts. Give them this opportunity to talk. They need it. You will be surprised how much you do not know about your own child's life. Dear Parents, PLEASE do not regard this daily get-together as a small or unimportant thing. It is VITAL. This get-together will convince your child/children that you are interested in them, their school work and education. This will motivate and encourage them even more. An even greater benefit of this daily get-together will be the BONDING OF THE FAMILY, which is so important for the family and the child especially. Today, unfortunately, the family unit is slowly disintegrating all over the world. It is sad that it is even happening to Muslim homes and families. A strongly-bonded family produces a stable and strong child. Otherwise the child suffers psychological disorders that become progressively worse. Such a child eventually becomes a lost cause; a liability to his/her family and to society at large. The implications for neglecting a single child can go very far! Today, most homes are more like motels or hotels. Strangers check in and out! Each one has his/her own program. They come and go as they wish; do as they wish and hardly ever meet or SIT TOGETHER AS A FAMILY UNIT. This is very sad and unfortunate. It is also dangerous for the future of the child. Such a child will easily be influenced by outsiders and alien influences, as he/she will not find fulfillment in the home. Such a child could end-up becoming a drug-addict or even a criminal, Allah forbid! Parents maybe rudely shocked and will possibly realise the harm only after it is too late to really reverse the damage. May Allah save our children from such a day.
2. After having spoken together for a while, ask them to bring their school bag along. Look at their work, even if you do not understand much! Praise them for good work; for the stars. If the work is untidy, talk to them kindly about the importance of neatness. Test their knowledge of the school work by asking them a few questions from their books regarding the work they have learnt. In this way you will have a good indication of their performance.
3. Next, look at their diaries. The homework diary is very important. This is the vital communication link - the hot line between parent and teacher. For many parents, due to their busy lives, it is not possible to visit or phone the school all the time. This is where the diary comes in. It is the cheapest and most effective means of communication between you, the parent and the school. Messages can be sent and received all the time via the diary. You will have a good communication with the school, through the diary. You as a parent, are required to sign the diary daily. Please do so. In the dairy, you will find information regarding homework, tests, projects, assignments and other general notices. Now you are ready to help them with home work.
4. First, listen to their Qur'an Sabaq at least three to five times. Help them with learning their Surahs, Duaas, etc. Ensure they learn all Islamiyat lessons for the next day. Get them to complete their Islamiyat homework.
5. Thereafter, get them to start with other home work. Start with Maths. Then English. Then other subjects. This is because Maths and English are done daily and form the core for all their future education and learning.
6. Make sure they put all their books back into their bags as many pupils tend to forget their books at home. Sometimes very conveniently! Make sure they pack their bags neatly as children tend to damage their textbooks quickly, and these are very costly!
7. Finally, talk to them for a few minutes about good manners, good behaviour, discipline. Narrate to them some interesting anecdote from which they could learn a lesson or moral. If possible, read to them for a few minutes from a good Islamic book or Kitaab. All of this will go a very long way to develop your child into a highly successful adult.
Dear Parent, if you follow the above program, you will have a fairly good idea of your child/childrens' progress at the school. You will be in a much better position to understand your child and how to help your child. May Allah make it possible for all homes to follow this program. Aameen.
Mufti Zubair Bayat