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Parents impeding progress of our Deen!

Q: My mother always praises herself about how hard it was in her time and how we have it so easy. While we were young we listened, however our mother wanted us to be but as we grew older me and my younger sister realised that not everything she was teaching us was right according to our religion  (Islam).

My mum would say one thing to us and say a totally different thing to my dad to make herself look good and praise herself. As time passed we tried to correct her but my dad would just tell us off and put it down to us rebelling. Everyone would just say that it was part of her (mum's)  personality and that there was no point trying to change that.

Ever since my sister-in-law has come things has gone worse because she has taught us a lot  about life in Islam and she has changed us for the better. Now that we have  changed my parents don't like the fact that it is because of her that we  where hijabs and read our salaat. I am so confused and I don't know what to  do but I feel sorry for my sister-in-law as she has to take so much verbal  abuse from my mother. My mother is always badmouthing her.

What does Islam say about this sort of situation? It makes me so angry to see the people we suppose to look up to (our
parents) and learn about religion and life are doing things wrong. I don't know why they think what they are doing is right,i cant tell them because i am young and I would be disrespecting my parents if i spoke out. Help please.

Muslim sister.


A: Respected Sister in Islam

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

It is sad to hear, as you claim, that your parents are impeding your progress of Deen. Nevertheless, they are your parents and should never be disrespected. If they instruct you to disobey any order of Allah then you are not obliged to obey them.

With wisdom and diplomacy try and create a positive Islamic environment in the home so that everyone is affected by the Islamic spirit. You should assure your parents that although you disagree with them regarding certain Islamic issues, however they are still the most senior members of the family and most loved and respected.When they see your good conduct and the benefit of following Islamic teachings, over time their hearts will soften and they will realize Insha Allah. However if you become confrontational then it will convince them that you are not on a good path.

Whenever you are confronted with a situation of conflict it is advisable to consult with an experience Aalim or a learned elder as to how to respond and abide by his advice.There is much benefit in consultation.

Also assure your sister in law that she is to be commended for her great spirit, tolerance and foresight. Give her your full support against the abuse that she is encountering from your parents.The reward and rank for tolerance and patience is unlimited.

Make abundant dua for them and assure them of your service, respect and love despite your differences.

May Allah Ta'ala assist you and unite your hearts for His pleasure.

And Allah Ta'ala knows best.

Was salaam

 

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